Wednesday, December 24, 2014

Night Changes

I know you won't read my blog, but I just feel like writing it down here. Everything that I just can't say it to you.

You know I have good and strong memory, that's why I can remember tiny bits whatever you do.

I still remember what were you wearing on our first date, what was our first movie, which date I became your girl. I remember every tiny bits of it.

I started to learn more about you. Your habit, your lifestyle, your work, your family and your friends.

I know now I'm giving you the time and space you need. Maybe by writing it down here will ease me.

It hurt me, you imagine someone stab you on your abdomen, yeah, just like that. I'm trying my best to hold my tears, I'm tired of crying myself to bed every night.

I wake up every morning feeling guilty, thinking how I can fix all this mistakes and problems.

Maybe, keeping ourself a distance at the moment is the best, but remember, you promise to come back, and I hold onto that promises.

No matter how long it take, remember that I'm always here and I still need you in my life.

Yours truly,
Aida Asmadi

Since Day 1

Since day 1, I learned that you have everything in you that I look for in a man.

And after 4 years, I learned that I cannot change you for who you are.

I learned that I'm here only as guidance.

I know you love me even tho you didn't express it all the time.

I learned that you give me everything.

Sayang, the only thing I really wanted from you is that we cherish the moment together, always watch each others back, love each other endlessly and last but not least, the time we spend together.

Yours truly,
Aida Asmadi

Wednesday, November 5, 2014

Random Emotional Post

Its been a while since the last time I wrote things here, I'm back here coz I have nowhere else to go and let all this feelings out.

Its been a while.  I should come here often, to write out whatever i feel in my heart.  So that at the end of the day, no one else get hurt.

I always ask people question, cause I don't want them to think I assume a lot of things.  But then, people always mistaken my question.  They always thought I only ask after I assumed.

Kenapa nak kena selalu jaga hati orang? Penat tau jaga hati orang, kadang-kadang sampai hati sendir tak terjaga. 

Kadang-kadang pelik dengan tingkah laku manusia ni, dia tak suka orang cakap macam-macam, cakap bukan-bukan, yet dia buat benda yang sama to other people.

Sometimes all I want to say is Get the hell out of my face and fuck off!

Thursday, May 1, 2014

Enough is enough

Its been awhile.

Not really, almost 3 years.  That's long enough I guess.  I care too much, way to much that he didn't realize it.  He thought everything is okay, silent means okay, okay means okay.  He care too much about his friends yet he forgot to care about me.  I know he care, but not as much as he cares bout his friend, cause to him, friends is everything. 

Yeah, friends is everything.  Don't forget that your girl or your man used to be your friend.  Why did you change the way you treat him or her after he or she belongs to you?  They are still your friend.  But they will be there forever no matter where you are, what happen to you, they will stand together with you.

Its okay, I care too much, its about time for me to stop caring bout you, I've had enough and I'm tired of being hurt that when you do good things to me, I didn't realize it.

Saturday, March 30, 2013

It's been awhile.

I haven't write for quite some time.  Before, I'll write whenever things hurt me, stressing me out and others.  But now, I prefer to keep it to myself and yet its making me suffer deep inside.  Its either I kept it to myself or I'll talk to Teah, Syira or Joe.  I don't know, but they know how to comfort me.  It does hurt when another man knows how to comfort you well when you are down and having problem with your partner.  

Sayang, seriously, I really miss the old you.  The one who always talk to me without looking at his phone while talking, the one who were mad at me when I'm playing with my phone when on a date, the one who always and never been mad at me.  

As time goes by, I actually like you now, but Like it better before.  Doesn't matter, as long as you love me, I will be there when you're on top, and I'll be there waiting to catch for you if you fall.  Just remember that I love you no matter what.

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Define sharing problem.

Cakap salah, tak cakap pun salah, macam mana nak selesaikan dilema ni?

Bila tak cakap, simpan sendiri, nanti dikatanya kita tak suka kongsi masalah.  Tapi bila kita cakap, kongsi dengan dia, dia kata kita merungut.  Hmm, apa definisi kongsi masalah pada dia sebenarnya?

Jadi, kesimpulannya, setiap kali aku ada masalah, aku hanya luahkan di twitter, kalau dia perasan, dia tanya, kalau tidak, dia buat tak tau je la... Apa lagi aku nak harapkan, terima je lah seadanya ye dak?

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Will you, baby?

Do you still remember the first time we saw each other?  Do you remember the first time you hold tight my hand?  Do you still remember the first kiss you gave me?  Do you still remember the first time I step into the house?  Do you remember the first phone call we had?  Do you still remember how we met each other?

I remember all those thing I wrote above, hoping you remember all of them.  Hey, I know I did something wrong with you, I said something wrong to you, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it.

I don't want to text you,
I don't want to call you,
I want to be in your arms,
   hold your hand
   feel your breath
   hear your heart
I want to be there, right next to you every single day and night.

I feel bad for what I did yesterday, I love you.

Listen to this baby :)